The Silver Bullet & the Bible
WC Fields

"When I was a young man my mother gave to me a silver bullet and told me to keep it with me always. I loved my mother very much and so I had the bullet put on a chain around my neck so I could wear it close to my heart.
One day, many years later, I was walking down the streets of Baltimore MD when a crazed evangelist threw a Bible from a 20th floor hotel window. The Bible plummeted to Earth at an impossible rate of speed and struck me square in the chest and, my friends, I want you to know: if it hadn't been for that bullet I would not be here today."

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